momentary distractions

it was just like on television I’d just put the rubbish out and when I looked up to the clear, dark evening I saw a small white dot speeding across the sky. a neighbour’s cat brushed my leg but I was transfixed by things up above; it took me a moment to readjust to the world below and give her a pat. »

gumshoe

i’ve been looking for clues walking the streets after dark reveals another world of off-coloured lights and strange mis-remembered memories as i search the maps small whorls appear leading me in and out of high- and low-pressure zones a rush of thoughts and a passing train rattles my head in the morning different shadows appear cast in odd directions a message from the ocean? i can’t decipher this not yet »

monsters are real

I cancelled some old accounts, not having looked in a while. It all felt completely wrong – I was invisible, an impostor in a world of people who seemed to know exactly what they wanted and how they’d get it. This is not my world. The weekends keep passing me by – I haven’t walked enough to walk this off yet. I’m still navigating by memory, not by sense. Memories are unreliable, memories can’t wait, I’ll never shake this curse if I can’t let it all go. »

loneliness

it’s the little things that get to you a chance piece of news something you need to do that you now need to worry about just like other times but this time you’re on your own and you start to think about the notion of comfort and how you’re heading home later than usual to a cold, empty house and nobody’s going to help you feel like it’s not so bad »

tunnels

i’ve been working for the weekend but each time it comes i just don’t know what to do with myself; the normal things feel slightly wrong like some kind of “off by one” error. it’ll get better in time – i’ve noticed fleeting moments where things almost feel alright. »