Some years ago I found myself on the subway of some other city on a Saturday morning. I’d finally hit the weekend after working hard to be the person everybody needed me to be. Standing on the train I put my earphones in the music started then it washed over me. “letting go / i want to be happier now” it nearly overwhelmed me I held on for dear life. »
A quiet breakfast watching the waves I heard something unexpected a honk? a swan? here? yet it was and it was just one. Later, driving out we passed a rabbit lying in the narrow shade of a streetlight pole I felt lucky not being alone this morning. »
The streets seemed familiar well-intentioned over-planning leaving little room for wonder beyond the quaint bus stops I tried to match places to prior memories and wondered about my mood last time I was there. Atop one hill An American chased a magpie with his camera I tried to warn him they don’t follow instructions. Atop another a strange building the kind you hope might survive us all and confound our ancestors. »
I took a dumpling-making class mostly to keep my hands occupied and to get myself out doing something different with people I didn’t know. I kneaded, and flattened, and rolled while 70’s country music played softly worried I might sing out loud if a Marty Robbins song appeared. I guess I’ll die with this fever in my soul. »
I took the bus to a nearby suburb and walked up a hill I hadn’t visited in years to a quiet area of pine trees. Just me and a few dog walkers. I stood behind a tree stump and bathed in the cold sun, while a currawong sang overhead. An old man passed by, complaining about the trees blocking the lovely view of the valley that could once be seen from here. »