managing to leave in my preferred time-period I avoided the brutishness of peak-hour public transport and found my calmest moment: standing in the kitchen cat underfoot cooking an unadventurous but not too unhealthy dinner for one in absolutely no hurry whatsoever. »
we hit town one dusty afternoon. after some bad food and good music the next day left me sick and confused drifting in and out of sleep under a mosquito net in an upstairs loft of a traditional Thai household with just enough heat to feel uncomfortable and just enough medicine to get me through. cats wandered by my friends looked concerned but all i needed was time. the day after that »
I caught myself eating a breakfast I wasn’t particularly fond of (but felt I ought to eat) in a fancy café I wasn’t particularly keen on (but was conveniently close) while some unidentifiable music drifted by. so after a brief moment of self-chastisement and a little reflection I left a small tip which seemed appropriate. »
somewhere in the depth of my evening despair I figured I should go for a short walk to buy some cat food if nothing else. my spirits rose when I remembered that they’d probably have Marmite back on the shelves and so it was: I now have something tiny, black and sticky to look forward to for breakfast tomorrow. I am ever-grateful for small mercies they keep me alive »
a number of times lately I’ll hear a song or an album by someone from around 7 years ago and think “was it really that long ago? I never let that one sink in like I did their earlier work” and then I wonder why everything changed in those recent years? why did I stop? why did I stop enjoying things like that? The horror creeps in making awful suggestions »