words won’t save you tiny hands won’t hold you we’re stuck in the nightmares of impotent, suited men the bad kind of darkness rages about us they’re trying to extinguish our candle but i survived before and i’ll survive again you fucker »
There’s a balance to all this – I’m sure of it, I tell myself. A crane’s all lit up in the distance. Wires cross the sky above me. Cars pass below, but they don’t know what’s in me. Two words from another language reminds me I should keep going. Onward and upward, and all that. The impetus is growing. Like the Mark Eitzel song, I’m gonna move myself ahead / but I don’t know how. »
You wake up in the morning and cut yourself shaving. Walk through the same old city. Ask yourself the same old question. Sitting on the couch when you get home, you still haven’t found an answer. »
…and then the rain came down. I couldn’t see the future. Nothing was working. Nothing else mattered. I came home in a funk, tossing and turning all night, but in the morning all was well. I pushed on, forward, upward, wearily anticipating the next hill. It’s the story of my life. »
Drifting in the in-between. I was away and I’ll be back again soon, making up for lost time – catching up on changes, configurations, deployments and other buzzwords of our times but not for another 33 hours. I’m anxious, as always – it’s the only way I know how to operate. »