It’s been a day without music, for no particular reason other than that I didn’t quite get to turning it on. The best thing to do today was to sleep for 12 hours, find an open café and then walk to see a film, all on one’s own. Letting a couple of words resonate in my head on the walk back, and letting the camera bob up and down in my left hand like an exercise weight. »
I left the taxis behind, today, at last at last at last. Another anonymous podboy on the bus, the tram, the pavement, tapping my fingers on my leg as I stare blankly out the window. I’m not looking through you, but I’m not frowning, either. I’d smile if I could. Even when I feel like I’m smiling, it doesn’t look like much, or so the camera tells me. My friends laugh at this. »
Don’t run with the dogs tonight, just let me be. The eternal difficulty of returning to Head OfficeTM after working and travelling. My eyes have changed, goalposts moved. The muggy weather disappears while I wait outside the block of flats, watching a ginger cat with all the right moves. I promised myself on the weekend flight home that I’d spend less time on work, more time on other pursuits – one phone call was all it took to bring me down to earth. »
Pre-dusk taxis. I’ve got a box of phone adapters on my lap and I’m watching the city bleed past my window. Dead music on the radio, but it’s not up to me. The sick, slow yellow spin of a tow truck’s lights near another crash. Exit door left, sometime soon. »
It’s over now, and I’m left to ease away the feeling of being in two places at once. Where am I? What happened? More importantly, what now? I can’t stop asking myself. I’m puzzled by the nature of human behaviour, about personal choices and the things we do to keep the peace. Is this happiness? »