empty weekend
attempting to make use
of the extra time
while i couldn’t use
the laptop
but feeling like
i couldn’t go too far
just in case
i was a few minutes
out the door
and had to turn back
to help
for instance
so i stayed close
and felt vulnerable
in the afternoon sun
ipod on random
when purple sneakers
popped up
maybe that’s what
started it off
walk past the old
kodak factory
piles of rubble
gathering
around the final
building
waiting to leap up
and smother it
or something
i snuck up
on more familiar
streets
from different angles
hoping i’d see things
a little differently
i took a walk
up hope st
but didn’t feel
hopeful
by the end of it
on a lonely afternoon
like this
it’s hard to stop
feeling like
i’ll
never
fit
in
and the best
i can hope for
is to have a few
days in a row
where it doesn’t bother me
quite as much
as the other days
or maybe
it’s just that
i haven’t kept up with the
st john’s wort tea
like i ought