when the question finally comes
you’ll forget your answer
and then the darkness
will roll in
unannounced.

whatever happens
just keep moving.

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locations change
the confusing new
mixed with old
requirements

paths appear
under wires
my new transit
the thing i feel
the most each day

one night
the towers hum to me
but the next
a large bird
stares right into
my eyes

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I fell into a dream
the kind
where I had nothing to do
but decide what direction to walk in
each morning
and what camera
I’d use along the way.

on my second last night
an American in a bar told me
“if you love this place
don’t move here”
I understood at once.

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i hopped on the train
a little earlier than usual
and tried not to look too surprised
as I found a seat
(luxury!)
a frowny late-middle-aged guy
sat opposite, to the right
writing “FENCER”
on his crossword
to the left
a small girl stole glances
at me
in between stealing a few words
from a comic
that seemed to be in Viet
I looked around
trying not too look too obvious
wondering

where these people were going
and wondering
when I’d feel a little more at ease.

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Sunday mornings
before too many people
are up and about
I escape into the quiet
lonely places
of my surrounding suburbs
places once so foreign
to someone like me
from some other part of town
but for seven years
they’ve been home
we breathe together
these streets and I.

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was it real?
i stood above the other faces
words fell from my mouth
i forgot more than half
of the things that i wanted to say
and fumbled with the microphone
later on, someone asked
“have you given the speech yet?”
“yes,
i have.”

the night blazed on
faces came and went
it was over
before I felt I had a grip
on things

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some days
i just can’t make sense of it
the working day gone
so quickly
so pointlessly
so disappointingly wrong.
when i limp home
beaten and despondent
the neat little student
sitting across from me on the tram
lifts her phone
starts to make a call
and suddenly vomits on the floor
there isn’t much I can do
but I offer her
a small packet of tissues
to wipe her hand
before stepping off the tram
and into the dark rain.

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Dream (last Saturday morning): I hop into a car with…somebody (not sure who). He’s driving. We seem to be leaving from my parents’ house, and he’s driving rather quickly, not stopping as we cross the intersections. When we reach Springvale Rd, he turns right without stopping. We go too wide, and miss the road. We miss the service lane, too. “So this is it,” I think, “we’re crashing”, and let my body relax as we head straight for a house. Inexplicably, we come through the other side and stop. I get out, appear to be ok (somehow) and figure I should call someone. I try calling 000, and explain there’s been a car crash, but they tell me I should call the police. “oh. Sorry to bother you. I’ll try them.” I struggle to dredge the number from my memory, and in the end I’m not sure if they answer or not. I leave the destroyed house behind and keep wandering through the suburban streets, dazed and confused.

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you can let go

if you want to
into the sea
the sky
the clouds
the cool wind on your face
and the feeling as if
anything can happen

but you can’t let go
right now
can you?

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last night i dreamt about technology.
it was rather disappointing when i awoke;
i wanted my dreams to be about
other things.

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